Three Standard Peter Lax Jokes (heard In His Lectures)

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Three standard Peter Lax jokes (heard in his lectures) :

1. What's the contour integral around Western Europe?
Answer: Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe!
Addendum: Actually, there ARE some Poles in Western Europe, but
they are removable!

2. An English mathematician (I forgot who) was asked by his very religious
colleague:
Do you believe in one God?
Answer: Yes, up to isomorphism!

3. What is a compact city?
It's a city that can be guarded by finitely many near-sighted
policemen!

Abdolreza Tahvildarzadeh, NYU

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