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Minnesota Slogans 1. I Came, I Thawed, I Transferred.
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Minnesota Slogans
1. I came, I thawed, I transferred....
2. Survive Minnesota and the rest of the World is easy.
3. If you love Minnesota, raise your right ski.
4. Minnesota - where visitors turn blue with envy.
5. Save a Minnesotan - eat a mosquito.
6. One day it's warm, the rest of the year it's cold.
7. Minnesota - home of the blonde hair and blue ears.
8. Minnesota - mosquito supplier to the free world.
9. Minnesota - come fall in love with a loon.
10. Land of many cultures - mostly throat.
11. Where the elite meet sleet.
12. Minnesota: CLOSED FOR GLACIER REPAIRS
13. Land of 2 seasons: Winter is coming, Winter is here.
14. Minnesota - glove it or leave it.
15. Minnesota - have you jump started your kid today?
16. There are only 3 things you can grow in Minnesota:
Colder, Older, & Fatter.
17. Many are cold, but few are frozen.
18. Why Minnesota? To protect Ontario from Iowa!
19. WARNING: You are entering Minnesota,
Please use an alternate route!
20. Minnesota: theater of sneezes.
21. Jack Frost must like Minnesota -
he spends half his life there.
22. Land of 10,000 Petersons.
23. Land of the ski and home of the crazed.
24. Minnesota - home of the Mispi-Mispp-Missispp
(Where the damn river starts!)
25. 10,000 lakes and no sharks!
26. In Minnesota ducks don't fly, people do!
Jeff Janke
AT&T Bell Laboratories
Related:
Minnesota Slogans 1. I came, I thawed, I transferred.
... 2. Survive Minnesota and the rest of the World is easy....
WHAT DO YOU CALL A PRETTY GIRL IN MINNESOTA? A TOURIST.
WHAT IS THE BEST THING TO COME OUT OF MINNESOTA? INTERSTATE 35....
Quick Thinker There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market.
One day, a man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce....
Snow Emergency in Minnesota Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio.
There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared" the weather report said....
Alternate State Mottos... Alabama: Yes, we have electricity Arizona
But It's a Dry Heat Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing California...
What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation 1. I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you.
2. Me? I've never busted minimums. 3. We will be on time, maybe even early....
A 5-year-old girl gets a kitten for her birthday. Soon thereafter, the Mom, while getting into the car slams the door on the kitten, killing it in front of her daughter.
Mom explains that "this is life", accidents happen, we learn from our mistakes, and so on....
HOW COLD IS IT? An annotated thermometer (degrees Fahrenheit) +50 * New York tenants turn on the heat * Minnesotans plant gardens +40 * Californians shiver uncontrollably * Minnesotans sunbathe +35 * Italian cars don't start +32 * Distilled water freezes +30 * You can see your breath * You plan a vacation in Florida * Politicians begin to worry about the homeless * Minnesotans eat ice cream +25 * Boston water freezes * Californians weep pitiably * Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you +20 * Cleveland water freezes * San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA * Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts +15 * You plan a vacation to Cancun * Minnesotans go swimming +10 * Politicians begin to talk about the homeless * Too cold to snow * You need jumper cables to get the car going 0 * New York landlords turn on the heat -5 * You can hear your breath * You plan a vacation in Hawaii -10 * American cars don't start * Too cold to skate -15 * You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo * Miamians cease to exist * Minnesotans lick flagpoles -20 * Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you * Politicians actually do something about the homeless * People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens -25 * Too cold to kiss * You need jumper cables to get the driver going * Japanese cars don't start * Minnesota Twins head for spring training -30 * You plan a two-week hot bath * Bock beer production begins * Minnesotans shovel snow off roof -38 * Mercury freezes * Too cold to think * Minnesotans button top button -40 * Californians disappear * Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you * Minnesotans put on sweaters -50 * Congressional hot air freezes * Alaskans close the bathroom window * Green Bay Packers practice indoors -60 * Walruses abandon Aleutians * Minnesotans put gloves away
ake out mittens * Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start -70 * Minneapolis residents replace diving boards with hockey nets * Ridgeway snowmobilers organize trans-river race to Buffalo, WI -80 * Polar bears abandon Baffin Island * Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby -90 * Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles * Wisconsinites migrate to Minnesota thinking it MUST be warmer -100 * Santa Claus abandons North Pole * Minnesotans pull down earflaps -173 * Ethyl alcohol freezes -445 * Superconductivity -452 * Helium becomes a liquid -454 * Hell freezes over -456 * Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90 -458 * Incumbent politician renounces campaign contribution -460 (Absolute Zero) * All atomic motion ceases * Minnesotans allow as to how it's getting a mite nippy "A Smile A Day" mailing list === (C) Copyright 1996 - 1998 === jokester@hilarious....