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• This guy buys a parrot. Every morning he stands in front of the cage and asks in a pleasant voice "Can you talk?
  This goes on for weeks with absolutely no response from the bird....
• Footless Parrot A guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not communicating at all and he's lonesome so he goes to a pet store thinking a pet might help.
  The store he happened to walk into specialized in parrots....
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• Where you can talk to people without using up saliva.
• Polly Want a Cracker? There's this fellow with a parrot.
  And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol....
• This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree.
  He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one....
• NEWS FLASH - Men And Women Are NOT Alike Sure, you thought you already knew that.
  But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged...
• Glass Eye A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.
  He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her....
• RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS A girl phoned me the other day and said .
  ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over....