Vinnie and a friend were driving somewhere on Long Island (NY). They came to
an intersection where they wanted to make a left turn. Unfortunately, there
was a "No Left Turn" sign at the intersection. Looking around and seeing
none of the local constabulary, they decided to go for it anyway. Well, as
it always seems to happen, two of the local police were in fact nearby in
their cruiser, and they proceeded to stop our heroes. This exchange
followed.
Cop: Could I see your license and registration, please?
(Vinnie produces L&R)
Cop: Do you know why I stopped you.
Vinnie (in thick fake Italian accent): No, officer.
Cop: You made an illegal left turn at that intersection.
Vinnie: No! I want to make a right turn at that-a corner, but the sign,
she say No! Left turn!
Cop (staring in disbelief): Wait right here.
Cop goes back to cruiser, returns with his partner.
Cop: Tell him what you just told me.
Vinnie repeats preposterous line, with preposterous accent, somehow
keeping straight face.
Cop (watching his parther howling in laughter): Go on, get out of here!
Q: What John Denver song is about incest?
A: "Almost Heaven," one line of which is
West Virginia, mount'n mama.
anyone heard the story about the couple that stayed up late one nite. Finally,
the man couldn't take it any more and went to bed. The wife, being hungry,
went to the kitchen and polished off a quick tin of sardines, then went to
bed...... man goes "sniff.... sniff..... damn, honey, sleepin' kind of
high on the pillow tonite aren't you????
What do you call a turtle with a hard-on?
Slow Poke!
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
