Three guys, an Italian, a Jew and a Polack, just died and were being judged
as to their worthiness of entering the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said that
they were all equally bad, so the ones that proved themselves in a test of
faith would get in. He told each of them he will lock them up in a room for
20 years. When he came back, whatever they'd done for him is what they get
judged by. So, he told the Italian, "I'm going to put you in this room with
one thing of your choice, what will that be?" The Italian guy tells him, "I
wanna me a woman". And so it is done. St. Peter then turned to the Jew and
asked him the same thing. The jewish guy wanted a telephone. And it was
done. Then St. Peter went to the Polack, who wanted a ciggarrette. And so
was done.
Twenty years passed, and St. Peter opens the Italian's room and there were
a dozen children running around and playing games and things. And he says,
"Looka, St. Pietro, I madea you a big family! Buona Sera!" St. Peter was
proud of this and smiled, and the pearly gates open for the Italian. Then
St. Peter went to the next door and there's the jewish guy with a load of
money all piled up. "Hey Pete, babe, I got ya all this cash, and this can
do some very good for the orphans down below. All the real estate and stock
marketing I've done, paid off. So do I get in or what, huh?" And St. Peter
said, "Well I guess I could fit you in, but I chose the Italian guy first.
You've done good, enter." And the Pearly Gates opened. Then St. Peter
moved down to the third room and the Polack was standing there with the
cigarrette and asked him "Can I have a light?"
