Related:

• Answering machines. Nowadays almost everyone has one, complete with a snappymessage of their own device.
  Wait for the beep and then read on. This is a short adaptation of Simon Butler-White's and Clive Archer's "could-be" phone messages released in Australian Cleo, August 1989....
• The message I currently have on my recorder is the output from my Amiga's speech sythesizer.
  It's set up as a dialog between two distict, but recognizably artificial voices....
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• imitating Mr. Rogers] "Hello. I'm in the Magic Kingdom right now, so I can't come to the phone.
  Can you leave your name and number when you hear the sound of the tone?...
• One voice: I didn't expect an answering machine. Another voice
  Nobody expects an answrering machine. Our chief use is to get your name....
• Last year my roommate had a machine but he hated to make the outgoing message.
  Stage fright, I guess. So I usually made them. One that we usually used during exam time wa...
• You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
  .... %end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker....
• Just after the earthquake a friend of mine put on his answering machine
  "Hi, this is Jeff. We can't get to the phone right now because we were killed in the Earthquake....
• A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup.
  As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest....