Related:

• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• Answering machines. Nowadays almost everyone has one, complete with a snappymessage of their own device.
  Wait for the beep and then read on. This is a short adaptation of Simon Butler-White's and Clive Archer's "could-be" phone messages released in Australian Cleo, August 1989....
• You know what I hate about answering machine messages?
  They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message....
• beep, beep, beep> The number you have reached, Seven.
  Six. Seven. One. Two. Three. Four. [Use your number here....
• When I was taking a 300 level computer science class in college there was a girl in the class that was a good friend of mine
  he was one of those people that was accademiclly briliant with zero common scence....
• Ring...click....(sound of loud music in background).
  ..Hello? - just a second while I turn the stereo off (sound of person running to click off music, which gets quiet....
• Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life.
  After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Thanks....
• Just after the earthquake a friend of mine put on his answering machine
  "Hi, this is Jeff. We can't get to the phone right now because we were killed in the Earthquake....
• I'm not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow.
  So please leave a message after the tone. I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow....