Related:

• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• with a kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra" in the background.
  ..] "Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached....
• Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can.
  Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO....
• he quiet, eerie vocal part of 'hello, earth' by kate bush] (after about 30 seconds)
  hello. you have reached xxx-xxxx. we can't come to the phone right now because we're at vespers....
• One voice: I didn't expect an answering machine. Another voice
  Nobody expects an answrering machine. Our chief use is to get your name....
• Ring, Ring: The number you have xxx-xxxx (your number) has been changed, the new number is xxx-xxxx (again, your number).
  CULATA!...
• My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
• In the background can be heard Gregorian Chant or some other church music &l
  In a soft voice> Good Day My child, you have reached {name} dial a confession....
• Background music: Something psychotic sounding, like Revolution 9 (Beatles) or Toccata (ELP)) Hello, you have reached the &l
  Housing Complex> Psychatric Ward. <Residents> aren't here right now, so LEARN HOW TO COPE WITH IT!...