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• There once was a girl from Sidney Who could take it right up to her kidney But a guy from Quebec Shoved it up to her neck He had a long one, now didn't he.
• There was a young lady from Sidney, Who liked it right up to her kidney, A man from Quebec, Shoved it up to her neck, He had a big one, now didn't he?
• Ther once was a woman from Sidney.. Who said she could take one to the Kidney.
  .. Along came a man from Quebec and gave her one to the neck....
• There was a young woman of Sydney Who could take it clear up to the kidney But the thrust of Alphonse Barely reached to her mons So he left her unsatisfied didn't he?
• Let's say you were trapped inside this room. Inside this room were 2 doors, and 2 caged talking - tigers.
  One of the doors was an exit into the paradise. The other was an exit into a bottomless pit- (In other words, if you opened this door, you'd fall until your insides get ripped apart by the G-forces- actually you'd still fall- Anyway....
• A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and tried striking up a conversation .
  .. "Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies....
• The following are actual stories told by travel agents (and you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography).
  .. I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in Connecticut....
• The following are actual stories told by travellers from Mendocino County, CA to travel agents in the UK.
  (And you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography....
• HOW TO KILL A SOUTH DAKOTA EEL Little Johnny and the other boys his age were hearing quite a bit about dating from the older boys, and wondering what it was all about and how it was done.
  One day, Johnny decided to take these questions to his mother who became quite flustered....