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• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• FROM NATIONAL REVIEW, February 15 1993, The Week, p.
  14 "Little noted by the press, vegetable-rights activists raided the kitchen of the Willard Hotel in Washington, D....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
• 10. Hot Buttered Elves 9. Santa's Magic Lap 8. Babes in Boyland 7.
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• Federal Aviation Administration, Washington, D.C. Gentleme
  I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....
• How To Install Software: 1. Examine the software packaging until you find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system you need to run the software.
  It should look something like this: SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS 2386 PROCESSOR OR HIGHER 628....
• 5000 years ago Moses said, "Pack up you camel, pick up your shovel, mount your ass, and I will lead you to the promised land.
  5000 years later, F. D. Roosevelt said, " Lay down your shovel, sit on your ass and light up a camel, this is the promised land....
• Dead Men Read No Mail My father died on Jan 02, 1995.
  He left no forwarding address. Therefore, it fell to me to collect his mail....
• She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
  He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...