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• A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
  The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....
• One day, an old French sausage maker whose sausages were renowned worldwide decided the time had come for him to retire
  but as the business had been in his family for generations and wanted to keep it so, he was keen his not too bright only son and heir take over the running....
• The responses below mention the following works (a few added)
  A Random Walk in Science - R.L. Weber and E. Mendoza More Random Walks In Science - R....
• A man was very shy, and couldn't speak to more than two people at a time without getting nervous.
  His boss and wife both suggested that he take an Andrew Carnegie course....
• A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and tried striking up a conversation .
  .. "Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies....
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• Three travelling salesmen had car trouble out in Kansas, so they walked to a farmer's house.
  The nearest gas station with a phone is 50 miles from here," said the farmer, "but you can stay tonight in the guest room - just don't stick your dicks in the three holes your bathroom wall....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• Not the Sharpest Knife in the Drawer! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home.
  After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up....