Related:

• Diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to "Go to hell" in such a way that he looks forward to the trip.
  Knock, knock. Who's there? Acid. Acid who? Acid down and be quiet....
• A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, and says she wants to open a savings account.
  The accounts person asks her how much she would like to deposit to open the account and the little old lady says, "Three million dollars....
• 3 old ladies Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things.
  One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful....
• Little old lady at US immigration. OFFICIAL: Do you advocate the overthrow of the government by violence or subversion?
  (Pause for thought) LITTLE OLD LADY: Violence, I think....
• Three old ladies were sitting around a table. The first say
  I'm getting so forgetful- this morning I was standing at the top of the stairs and I couldn't remember whether I was going down or had just come up....
• (knock, knock) "Who's there?" "A polish thief.
• Knock, knock. Who's there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys Thanksgiving. Aren't you?
• Knock, knock. Who's there? Waddle. Waddle who? Waddle I do if you don't open the door?
• A nice young worker from Australia Post ( yes they do exist ), was sorting through her regular envelopes, when she discovered a letter addressed as follow
  GOD c/o Heaven Upon opening the envelope, a letter enclosed told of how a little old lady who had never asked for anything in her life, was desperately in need of $...