Related:

• Two Polish junkies are getting ready to shoot up some heroin, and a friend walks in and say
  "What are you doing? Don't you know you'll get AIDS from that!...
• Two guys were walking in the woods one day, and they all of a sudden came across a bear.
  The bear noticed them, and started growling and generally getting really mean....
• Stupid People... Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid".
  That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything....
• NEWS BULLETIN - Men and women are NOT alike. Sure, you thought you already knew that.
  But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged...
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• These 3 guys were fishing one hot summer day when the fisherman in the middle hooked into a very large fish that he fought for several minutes.
  Finally the fish won and pulled him into the water, straight to the bottom....
• Let's say you were trapped inside this room. Inside this room were 2 doors, and 2 caged talking - tigers.
  One of the doors was an exit into the paradise. The other was an exit into a bottomless pit- (In other words, if you opened this door, you'd fall until your insides get ripped apart by the G-forces- actually you'd still fall- Anyway....
• Two guys wandered into a bar. One of the men shouted to the barkeeper,"Hiya, Mike.
  Set 'em up for me and my pal here." Then he turned to his slightly dim partner and boasted, "This is a great bar....