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• This guy goes skydiving for the first time. After he jumps out of the plane, he counts to ten, pulls the ripcoard, and nothing happens.
  Only a little worried, he pulls the cord for the auxilliary parachute, but unfortunately, the chute still does not appear....
• A man goes skydiving. After a fantastic free fall he pulls the rip cord to open his parachute but nothing happens.
  He tries everything but can't get it open. Just then another man flies by him, going UP....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
  The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....
• Federal Aviation Administration, Washington, D.C. Gentleme
  I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....
• Federal Aviation Agency, Washington 25, D.C. Gentleme
  I was asked to make a written statement concerning certain events that occurred yesterday....
• Speedy A hip young man goes out and buys a 1997 Ferrari GTO.
  It is the best and most expensive car available in the world, costing about $...