Related:

• This guy goes skydiving for the first time. After he jumps out of the plane, he counts to ten, pulls the ripcoard, and nothing happens.
  Only a little worried, he pulls the cord for the auxilliary parachute, but unfortunately, the chute still does not appear....
• A guy decides to take up skydivingas a sport. So he contacts a flight school and sets up the lessons.
  After taking the classes and practicing for a couple of weeks on the ground he is ready for his first flight....
• A man goes skydiving. After a fantastic free fall he pulls the rip cord to open his parachute but nothing happens.
  He tries everything but can't get it open. Just then another man flies by him, going UP....
• A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
  The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....
• NEWS FLASH - Men And Women Are NOT Alike Sure, you thought you already knew that.
  But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged...
• Mommy Mommy, Can I play with Grandma? Shut up kid, You've already dug her up 3 times today!
  Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn. The sheeps in the meadow, the cows in the corn....
• There was this young boy coming of age and his father wanted to show him the facts of life.
  So he gave him 20 bucks and sent him down to the local brothel to have a good time....
• NEWS BULLETIN - Men and women are NOT alike. Sure, you thought you already knew that.
  But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged...
• You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
  .... %end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker....