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• A guy in a restaurant says to the waitress "I want a cup of coffee without cream.
  The waitress comes back a few minutes later and says "I'm sorry, but we're all out of cream....
• YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN -- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
  -- You ski uphill. -- You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked....
• Two math professors were in a bar: PROF1: You know, every year, the students in my Calculus 100 class are getting dumber and dumber.
  It's getting so that I can't even teach a lecture without reviewing high school algebra....
• Tale Of The Sandwich Trailer Here's the background
  Bill works in a coffee, bagels, and sandwiches trailer on the campus of CSUC, Chuck is his boss and the owner of the truck, and yes, according to Bill, this actually happened....
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• M.A.D.D is the acronym for Mathematicians Against Drunk Deriving .
  ... A Native American woman is sitting on a moose hide....
• Guy walks into a restaurant. Orders eggs. The waitress asks "How would you like those eggs cooked?
  The guy says "Hey, that would be great....