Related:

• She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
  He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
• TOP 118 REASONS WHY IT'S ACCEPTABLE TO DATE A NERD 1) His shoelaces are hardly ever untied 2) Doesn't pick his nose in public 3) Has never put a red shirt in with the whites 4) Was not directly responsible for the Holocaust 5) When getting off an elevator at a 20+ story building
  he doesn't push all the buttons so everyone has to stop at every floor 6) Elvis is dead and Bob Saget is married...
• 81 Rules and Instructions on Being A Man 1. Don't call.
  EVER. 2. If you don't like a girl, don't tell her....
• She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
  He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...
• A guy walked into a bar and, with a very despondent look on his face, ordered a bourbon - straight up.
  The bartender set the drink down and, to his sur- prise, a little man just over a foot tall climbed out from under the custo- mer's jacket and onto the bar....
• FOUR YEARS LATER... December 30, 2004 / Washington, D.
  C. (Associated Press) After four years of legal wrangling, George W....
• One night a travelling salesman found that he had stayed on the road too long, and that he was stranded in the middle farm country with no place to sleep.
  Naturally, he sought refuge at the nearest farm house....
• Marvin was the world's oldest virgin. After years and years of putting ads in singles' papers and enlisting in dating services, he was nearly penni- less.
  In desperation, he went to a whorehouse. "Lady," Marvin said to the madam, "I'm desperate....