Related:

• Witty Words of Wisdom: Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
  Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them....
• Those crazy soviets... Date: Mon, 29 May 89 12:51
  20 EST I had misplaced the paper this was in and thought I'd lost it....
• Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.
  UUCP Attribute the joke's source if at all possible....
• My modem can beat up your modem!
• My tagline can beat up your tagline!
• My lawyer can beat up your lawyer!
• Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob?
  A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, eggs or meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob....
• My kid can beat up your honor student!
• My gray hairs can beat your gray hairs.