I think I have one of these books. It is by George Heyduke (Hayduke?). When
I read it, I was practically overcome with mirth. Some of the things he sug-
gests are hilarious! It says right in the book that it is written for enter-
tainment purposes only, and not to try any of the ideas, so I guess he has his
behind covered. Some of the better ideas that I remember are:
1. "Time bombs." This is the phrase he uses to describe chicken parts.
Easily gotten at any supermarket, they are innocent little items that
can be carried almost anywhere (in a baggie, if neccessary). But when
stashed in an out-of-the-way place, like under furniture cushions in the
house or under car seats or in the trunk in a car, and given a little
time, YOW! Watch out for the smell! Gotten ripped off by a used-car
dealer? Wait awhile, then take some test drives in some other cars.
With a few strategically placed "bombs" in a car with the windows closed
in the hot sun.... use your imagination. Getting evicted? Remove some
outlet covers or switch covers and stuff some of these babies down inside
the wall. They'll be impossible to find, and won't start to smell until
after you're long gone.
2. Parties. Parties are great fun to plan, especially if you plan them for
someone else to host (as a surprise). Print up a few flyers for a party
at your victim's house and distribute them where undesirables will be
sure to see them. For example, you might put up flyers around biker bars
advertising "all the beer you can drink", and "crowning of Miss Biker", or
something equivalent. Even if the reluctant host doesn't let them in his
house when the horde shows up, he will still wind up with a party on his
lawn. Of course, if you're his neighbor this gives you a good reason to
complain to the cops or to his landlord, etc.
3. Set your victim against a third party, or against another victim. Let
other people do your dirty work for you. Here's an example: Call up
the electric or gas company and impersonate your victim. Request that
service be terminated for a week or two (going on vacation, or whatever).
As soon as that happens, call your victim. Impersonate an officer of the
gas/electric company, and be very nasty and abusive, saying that service
has been discontinued because of non-payment of bills. This should rile up
your victim, asasuming that he HAS paid his bill and knows it. At any rate,
tell him he must come down to the office immediately to discuss the problem
or you will send the police to his house to collect, or something like that.
Then, once you have him mad, and know he is going to the gas/electric
company, call up that company. Impersonate your victim. Be very nasty,
and try to get into an argument with a supervisor. Wind up the conver-
sation by saying that you are coming down there right now with a gun, and
you are going to kill somebody. Then hang up.
Or, if you call enough times so that people associate your voice with his
name, you could call back some time after the argument and make a bomb
threat. They would recognize the voice as being 'him', and knowing that
he was disgruntled would make him a prime suspect.
4. Buy a cheap toy gun. Plant it in your victim's car. Then call the police
and anonomously report that you saw a suspicious armed person in the area,
and give the vehicle's description and location. A variation of this would
be to plant baggies full of phony drugs. He probably won't be arrested,
but he will probably be stopped and harrassed.
5. Enter subscriptions in his name to the most filthy homo/bondage/snuff
magazines you can find, and change his address by one so his NEIGHBOR
receives them. His neighbors will not only be disgusted by his perver-
sions, they will also be irritated by the fact that he is too dumb to
even get his address right on a subscription.
6. If you can get one of his credit cards, or even a charge receipt or
carbon copy of one, use the account to order gifts through the mail.
Order gifts for REAL friends and relatives of the victim, and have
them delivered directly to the recipient. It puts him in an embarras-
sing position to have to explain to his family and friends how his
gift to them must be returned. Also, can you imagine the guy trying
to convince the bank that HE did not make the purchases? Don't use his
charge accounts for your own benefit, or you will very likely be caught.
Related:
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...