Here Are Two Of My Favorites (which I've Never Yet Performed

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Here are two of my favorites (which I've never yet performed: maybe I'm just
not spiteful enough.)

Prickly pear cacti have two kinds of spines: large ones and tiny reddish
hairs that are incredibly irritating. Gather the tiny ones, and distribute
them into the clothing of someone you detest, perhaps the underwear. They
will probably be noticed too late. Caveat: this should make the clothes
permanently unusable.

Collect an engorged tick from a dog, and keep it until it produces an egg
mass. Hide the egg mass at a spot where the victim sits. Several hundred
tiny "seed ticks" will patiently wait their opportunity to swarm over the
first warm-blooded creature available. They are too small to easily pick
off, and just large enough to see. (This happened [by accident] to me in
Georgia this summer. I wasn't disturbed much, but then I study ticks and
mites for fun.)

Don't make an enemy of an imaginative biologist.

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