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• A friend of mine, Doug, finally managed to get this girl he liked out on a date.
  They went to a movie. On the way home from the movie Doug's car caught on fire somehow....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
• Joke 1 It all started with a girlfriend's birthday party.
  Her boyfriend, who I had known since elementary school, wanted to give her a suprize party....
• The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes ----------------------------------- 12/15/92 Q
  How do blonde braincells die ? A: Alone....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
  Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....
• YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception All your sentences begin with "what if" At Christma
  it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Dilbert is your hero Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel People groan at the party when you pick out the music The blinking 12...