Related:

• With the convention in San Francisco, Democrats must have been glad their nominees didn't ride off into the sunset, no matter how well they swim.
• There was a big party going on in the local mental hospital.
  It was a big event, and one of the local doctors had been invited to tour the grounds during the festival....
• TOP 118 REASONS WHY IT'S ACCEPTABLE TO DATE A NERD 1) His shoelaces are hardly ever untied 2) Doesn't pick his nose in public 3) Has never put a red shirt in with the whites 4) Was not directly responsible for the Holocaust 5) When getting off an elevator at a 20+ story building
  he doesn't push all the buttons so everyone has to stop at every floor 6) Elvis is dead and Bob Saget is married...
• Mr. Ford spoke to the convention but not Mr. Nixon.
  In his honor, couldn't the GOP at least have arranged for 18-and-a-half minutes of silence?...
• Democrats proved they can't be trusted with our future when they stood up at their convention and cheered at the word "infrastructure.
• For a time during the convention, the only certainty was that the Democrats wouldn't nominate a Simpson-Mazzoli ticket.
• Most congressional incumbents will win re-election, experts say.
  It'll save having to learn to dislike someone new....
• It's someone else's fault!
• one time in my undergrad days, it was snowing like mad out.
  omeone decided it was time a make a snowball. then someone else suggested that we should put this snowball in this one guy's room-- nobody liked this guy-- so when the word got around, half the people in our dorm section came out and help!...