Related:

• Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid? A: When you open her legs the lights go on.
• How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid? When you open her legs the lights go o
• Q: How do you tell if your girlfriend is ticklish? A: Give her a couple "test-tickles".
• A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday.
  He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result....
• Q: How can you tell when your girlfriend is ugly? A
  When she's having an artificial insemination, and the syringe goes limp!...
• You Know You're A Horse Person When... - You are totally grossed out by human hair in the sink or tub, but don't mind horse hair in your washer, on your clothes, in your food.
  .. - You know you're a horse AND dog person when you don't mind throwing frozen manure balls for the barn's goldie to fetch!...
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
• Q: How can you tell when an elephant's got her period?
  A: There's a quarter on your bedstand, and your pillow is missing....
• How about the smart ass who runs his hand over your bald spot and sez
  "Ooohhhh How Smooooth. It feels like my wife's ass!...