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• Q: Why is being in the service like getting a blow job?
  A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel....
• EEKING OUT A LIVING IN RADIOACTIVE SHOES Come now, don’t any of you baby boomers remember having your childhood feet x-rayed at the shoe store?
  It was right about the time we were being stuffed with megadoses of penicillin no matter what the wheezy etiology, and ducking for cover under one-armed elementary school desks in mock nuclear bomb attacks....
• What's the worst thing about being a penis? Your best friend is a cunt.
• RULES AT WORK 1. If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
  2. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt....
• Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor.
  Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do pushups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing....
• What's the worst thing about killing 2,000 students at Tiananmen Square?
  An hour later, you want to kill 2,000 more....
• Q. What's the worst thing about having AIDS? A. Convincing your parents that you are really Haitian.
• Keane Arase, Systems Programmer University of Chicago Computing Organizations Acedemic and Public Computing, Technical Project Support kean@tank.
  uchicago.edu syskean@uchimvs1.uchicago.edu ** Please file the standard disclaimers here ** From jwas@pbhyf....
• Q: What's the worst thing about screwing a cow? A
  You have to get off the stump and run around front every time you want to kiss her....