Related:

• Where is God? Two bothers, ages eight and ten, were always getting themselves into trouble for some reason or another.
  If something was missing, they were probably involved....
• Sometimes you just have to wonder... I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
  I inquired as to what she was doing and she said she was shopping on the Internet, and they asked for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy....
• 1st Person : I'm a philatelist - I collect stamps.
  2nd person : I'm a lepedoptorist - I collect butterflies....
• Mottos To Live By If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking....
• AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION PLEASE! 1. Make a fist out of your hand 2.
  Loosen it a little Q: What do you get? A: Pee-Wee's Playhouse....
• 1st Polack: What would you do if you found a million dollars?
  2nd Polack: If it belonged to a poor person, I'd return it....
• Your cart just ran over my dogma.
• Your cat just ran over my dog.
• Your karma just ran over my dogma