Related:

• I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
• I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
• Since I've used up all of my sick days, I'm calling in DEAD!
• A DAY OFF?? So you want the day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for.
  There are 365 days per year available for work....
• So you want the day off: Let's take a look at what you are asking for.
  ... There are 365 days per year available for work....
• Quick, call a Witch Doctor. My witch is sick!
• QUICK! Call a witch-doctor: My witch is sick!
• Odd that no-one mentioned the fun to be had with all the new and wonderful phone features available now.
  None of the below are truly destructive. Adjust gender as appropriate (women's lib be damned, I'm not going to type his/her, s/he every time)....
• They have all sorts of new services these days. Now they have a dial a prayer for Athiests!
  You call a number - and nobody answers....