Related:

• Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving.
• If you can still hear the music, it's not loud enough!
• I can't believe I read the whole thing!
• Grandma got run over by a reindeer, Walking home from our house Christmas Eve, You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
  She'd been drinking too much eggnog, And we begged her not to go, But she forgot her medication, So she staggered out the door and through the snow....
• Heard on Rush Limbaugh(sp?): Q: What's the difference between Elvis and Jim Wright?
  A: Everyone knows Wright is dead... This is a paradoy ad that appeared in the Chicago Reader....
• Marriage Before - You take my breath away. After - I feel like I'm suffocating.
  Before - She loves the way I take control of a Situation....
• Smile, its the second best thing you can do with your lip
• cars and driving --- For a while I didn't have a car.
  .. I had a helicopter... no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running....