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• How many American Colonists does it take to change a light bulb?
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• Scene: My girlfriend and I are in a restaurant, and a strikingly attractive woman walks by.
  ) Girlfriend: Would you date her? Me: Ummm...1958?...
• Beware the grammar / Spelling Gestapo.
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• If it has tits or tires, you'll have trouble with it.
• If it has TITS or TIRES, you gonna have trouble with it.
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• If it has TITS or TIRES, You're gonna have trouble