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• 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, Hmmm.....
• 24/7 Whatcha call a woman that knows where her husband is 24 hours a day, seven days a week?
  A widow....
• If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
• Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
• SIGNS THAT YOU ARE TOO DRUNK: You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
  You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth....
• One Liners Worth Remembering Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm Eagles may soa
  but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol I intend to live forever - so far, so good I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?...
• Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. Toaste
  A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast....
• More One Liners * If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  * For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain....