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• Greetings from Hell....wish you were here.
• How did I get here from there?
• I'm from the government. I'm here to help you.
• While fishing at Toho I was baiting my hook when two six foot tall mosquitos alighted in front of me.
  I was so horrified, I was unable to move. One of them said, "should we eat him here or take him back home with us?...
• Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back
• Why call them back from heaven?