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• 104 A plumber whose name was Ten Brink Plumbed the cook as she bent o'er the sink.
  Her resistance was stout, And Ten Bring petered out With his pipe-wrench all limber and pink....
• More Things Only A Mom Can Teach You: My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
  "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!...
• Two men were walking in the park when they came upon this dog that had bent itself into a weird position and was licking its balls.
  One man said, "Gee! I wish I could do that." The other man replied, "I think you better get to be friends first....
• Getting The Job Done Jane entered the kitchen one morning, reached to turn on the light, and it didn't work.
  After replacing the bulb, still no light. When John, her husband, came home, she said "Honey, the light switch is broken....
• Did you hear about the Iraqi that tryed to blow up a bus?
  He kept burning his lips on the tail pipe....
• Various Ways To Say "Having Sex" Bang Be the rug doctor Beaver shooting Been ridin' broomsticks since she was fifteen Bend her over and load her like a shotgun Bit-o-the-ol'-in-out Bite the bearded clam Bob the knob Boink Bone Smuggling Bopping Bottom knockin' Bounce the Brillo Break her open like a shotgun Buff the helmet Buffing Bumping uglies Bury the hatchet Butter her muffin Carpet munching Check her oil Clean the carpet Come to my bed and let's practice parallel parking Cuttin' a slice Dance the buttock jig Dent the egg Dip your wick Do it Do the horizontal mambo Do the Wild Thing Doing it Doing the nasty Dueling Bedsprings Eat at the Y Feed the bear Fenorking Fit pipe Flat Dancing Fooling around Fuck Get a leg over Get your bone honed Get your noodle wet Gettin' Busy Getting you ashes hauled Getting your bunny boiled Getting your canoe shellacked Getting your horns filed Getting your weiner wet Give her the time Giving her a pearl necklace Go like a rat up a rhododendron Goin' horizontal Hammerin' Hawaiian Muscle Fuck (titty-fuck) He hasn't had his tires rotated in months Hide and shriek Hide the HotDog Hide the sausage Hiding the salami Hobble Hose I wanna bust that body I'm having lunch at the Y.
  It's a box lunch - furburgers! I'm so horny the crack of dawn isn't safe Lay cable Lay pipe Lay the hen Let's go "Whale some babes"!...
• Why? How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
  Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?...