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• Foot-And-Mouth Believed To Be First Virus Unable To Spread Through Microsoft Outlook Atlanta, Ga.
  (SatireWire.com) ñ Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Symantec's AntiVirus Research Center today confirmed that foot-and-mouth disease cannot be spread by Microsoft's Outlook email application, believed to be the first time the program has ever failed to propagate a major virus....
• GORBIWARE Summer 1991 Catalog Addendum Recent events in the Soviet Union have allowed us to complete beta testing of several products we had under developme
  and we now feel confident offering them to the public....
• A Virus?.. Never!
• What Computer Virus Do You Have? Beware of the following computer Viruses.
  .. Federal Bureaucrat Virus - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer....
• THE JOB SECURITY QUIZ 1. The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at your desk, you.
  .. A) Swear to take the game off your hard drive forever, but first make a copy for his kid....
• Windows isn't a virus; a virus at least does something.
• Congratulations on your purchase of a CAT Unit! This model contains the following feature
  * User Friendly * Mouse Driven * Self Cleaning * Energy Saving Standby Mode When Not In Use * Self Portable Operation * Dual Video and Audio Input * Audio Output * Auto Search Routines for Input Data * Auto Search for Output Bin * Instant Transition (2 nanoseconds) Between Standby and Full Power Mode Production Detail...
• A virus is a Daemon with an attitude problem!
• But MOM, it 'really' WAS a virus!