What Computer Virus Do You Have? Beware Of The Following Computer Viruses.

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What Computer Virus Do You Have?
Beware of the following computer Viruses...
Federal Bureaucrat Virus - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be
the most important part of the computer.
Dan Quayle Virus - Their is sumthing rong with your compueter, ewe just
can't figyour out watt.
Gallup Poll Virus - Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose 38% of
their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5% margin of error)
Paul Revere Virus - revolutionary Virus - doesn't horse around. It warns you
of impending hard disk attack once if by LAN, twice if by C:
Politically Correct Virus - never calls itself a "Virus -," but instead
refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism."
Right to Life Virus - Won't allow you to delete a file regardless of how old
it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you first see a counselor
about possible alternatives.
Ross Perot Virus - Activates every component in your system just before the
whole thing quits.
Mario Cuomo Virus - It would be a great Virus -, but it refuses to run.
Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 2000 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80 MB,
then slowly expands back to 200 MB.
ATT Virus - Every three minutes it tells you what great service your
getting.
MCI Virus - Every three minutes it reminds you that you are paying too much
for the ATT Virus.
Ted Turner Virus - Colorizes your monochrome monitor
Arnold Schwarzennegger Virus - Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back!
Government Economist Virus - Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software
says everything is fine.
New World Order Virus - Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
really mad just thinking about it.
Terry Randle Virus - Yells "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort"
from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.
Texas Virus - Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
Adam and Eve Virus - Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Michael Jackson Virus - Hard to identify because it is constantly altering
its appearance. This Virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
Congressional Virus - The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with
a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Airline Virus - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Freudian Virus - Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own
motherboard.
PBS Virus - Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Elvis Virus - Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy and then self destructs,
only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural
America.
Ollie North Virus - Turns your printer into a document shredder.
Nike Virus - Just Does It!
Sears Virus - Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power
supply, and a set of shocks.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus - Nobody can find it.
Congressional Virus - Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously,
but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
Kevorkian Virus - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.
Imelda Marcos Virus - Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up then
subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive
shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
Star Trek Virus - Invades your system in places where no Virus has gone
before.
Health Care Virus - Test your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and
sends you a bill for $4,500.
George Bush Virus - It starts by boldly stating, "Read my test....no new
files!" on the screen, proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard
drive with new files, then blames it on the Congress Virus.
Cleveland Indians Virus - Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
LAPD Virus - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and
erases them in "self-defense."
Chicago Cubs Virus - Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in
the reviews, but you still love it.

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