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• When will we ever learn?
• Learn a new Mating Position - Play Chess!
• Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
• THE FIRST SERMON The new priest, at his first Mass, was so afraid that he was unable to speak.
  Before his second week at the pulpit, he asked the Monsignor how he could relax....
• Q:" How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?
  "A:" "This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items....
• Q: How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?
  A: This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items....
• How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?
  This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items....
• with a kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra" in the background.
  ..] "Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached....
• NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE To the citizens of the United States of America
  In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today....