Related:

• Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
• DETERIORATA (With apologies to Desiderata) - GO PLACIDLY AMID THE NOISE & WASTE.
  REMEMBER WHAT COMFORT THERE MAY BE IN OWNING A PIECE THEREOF....
• Time on your hands? . . . get Windows.
• A middle aged buisnessman goes to see his physician.
  "Doctor, I've got this problem," the man says....
• Things That Can Drive A Sane Person Insane ** The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.
  ** There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray ....
• Xerox your lunch and file it under "sex offenders!
• 30 Ways to Cope With Stress 1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out.
  See how many you can do at a time. 2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa and vice-versa....
• Various Ways To Say "Having Sex" Bang Be the rug doctor Beaver shooting Been ridin' broomsticks since she was fifteen Bend her over and load her like a shotgun Bit-o-the-ol'-in-out Bite the bearded clam Bob the knob Boink Bone Smuggling Bopping Bottom knockin' Bounce the Brillo Break her open like a shotgun Buff the helmet Buffing Bumping uglies Bury the hatchet Butter her muffin Carpet munching Check her oil Clean the carpet Come to my bed and let's practice parallel parking Cuttin' a slice Dance the buttock jig Dent the egg Dip your wick Do it Do the horizontal mambo Do the Wild Thing Doing it Doing the nasty Dueling Bedsprings Eat at the Y Feed the bear Fenorking Fit pipe Flat Dancing Fooling around Fuck Get a leg over Get your bone honed Get your noodle wet Gettin' Busy Getting you ashes hauled Getting your bunny boiled Getting your canoe shellacked Getting your horns filed Getting your weiner wet Give her the time Giving her a pearl necklace Go like a rat up a rhododendron Goin' horizontal Hammerin' Hawaiian Muscle Fuck (titty-fuck) He hasn't had his tires rotated in months Hide and shriek Hide the HotDog Hide the sausage Hiding the salami Hobble Hose I wanna bust that body I'm having lunch at the Y.
  It's a box lunch - furburgers! I'm so horny the crack of dawn isn't safe Lay cable Lay pipe Lay the hen Let's go "Whale some babes"!...
• Blondness strikes again... An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
  They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage!...