Related:

• Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
• Minds are like parachutes; they function only when open.
• Remember, only left-handed people are in their right minds!
• Why ask Why????? 1. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  2. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? 3....
• The Wisdom of Youth Never give up because life gets harder as you get older.
  After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier and bumpier....
• Why do you need a drivers licence to buy liquor when you cannot drink and drive?
  Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?...
• Preface: The person that this is played on must be someone who really deserves it because it takes several people to pull off.
  He must also live on the first floor of his dorm....
• YOU KNOW YOU NEED AN UPGRADE... when Microsoft tech support picks up the phone before Windows 95 finishes booting when you call tech support and they say your version of software has been obsolete for 5 years when that bright idea you had of pounding a 3-1/4" disk thin so it'll fit in the 5-1/4" slot didn't quite work when the bad blocks on your disk outnumber the good ones if your PC is big enough to use as an end table if it's so old that you can't even find a nonprofit organization that will take it as a donation when you can no longer find those special metallic cassette tapes when everyone's raving about hooking their computers up to the television and you'd never used any other kind of monitor hey
  I'm NOT upgrading my VIC 20, OK?!!! when your calculator has more RAM than your computer when your watch has more RAM than your computer when you realize that they don't use tapes anymore when it takes a Chevy pickup to haul your disk drive away when you're getting bored of those stupid Atari games like Frogger when your computer doesn't give you "nice" system errors like "Bad Command or file name" and instead formats your hard drive when you're getting tired of typing in ones and zeros when your abacus gets termites when "Solitaire" only has enough memory to use half the deck when you get the error message "Don't open so many goddam Windows at once!...
• HOW TO KNOW YOU'RE GROWING OLD Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
  The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals....