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• Synonym: word used when you can't spell the one you wanted
• Tips from Secretaries to Managers: Enhancing the Relationship 1.
  Whenever possible, please keep us late. We have no homes to go to and are only too thankful to spend the evening here....
• Jimmy Stewart, Roseanne Barr, and Saddam Hussein all reached the Pearly Gates at the same time.
  St. Peter said, "Ah, you're Jimmy Stewart, right?...
• IF 1. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
  2. If a deaf person swears in sign language, does his mother wash his hands with soap?...
• The USENET Guide to Power Posting 1. Conspiracies abound
  If everyone's against you, the reason can't *possibly* be that you're a fuckhead....
• GETTING RID OF TELEMARKETERS... ** If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
  ** If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problem...
• It all makes sense if you take every other word...
• A man went to Confession and said to the priest : "Forgive me, Father.
  I used the F-word this week." "Ah, my son. Tell me the circumstances which caused you to use the F-word....
• Some simple truths of life by George Carlin... 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
  2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....