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• Work expands to exceed the time allotted.
• We have standards and expect you not to exceed them.
• Confucius say: He who rapes a man's daughter, draws and quarters his son, and buries his wife alive in an anthill should not expect to sit at that man's dinner table without the subject coming up.
• An informer should be hanged by his tongue.
• Women are great! Every man should own one!!!!!
• Man is a dog's idea of what God should be.
• A lawyer charged a man $500 for legal services. The man paid him with crisp new $
  100 bills. After the client left, the lawyer discovered that two bills had stuck together -- he'd been overpaid by $...
• A man's home is his HASSLE!
• A Helping Hand... A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
  However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach....