Related:

• Live now -- procrastinate tomorrow!
• Wary Klink Live-Pillory Clinton Wary: "Hello, welcome to Wary Klink Live.
  Tonight's guests will be First Lady elect Pillory Clinton....
• Surrender now - before I have to offer you better terms.
• The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering!
• The doctor told his patient "I have bad news and worse news for you, what do you want to hear first?
  The patient replied, "What's the bad news?" The doctor said, "Your tests have come back and we've determined that you only have two days to live....
• If People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive
  because people don't buy cars like they buy computers -- but imagine if they did ....
• EEKING OUT A LIVING IN RADIOACTIVE SHOES Come now, don’t any of you baby boomers remember having your childhood feet x-rayed at the shoe store?
  It was right about the time we were being stuffed with megadoses of penicillin no matter what the wheezy etiology, and ducking for cover under one-armed elementary school desks in mock nuclear bomb attacks....
• Steve is reassembling Elvis' brain and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name .
  ..", etc....
• Polite Rejection This goes out to any woman who's had to reject a loser.
  Now we have a form letter to send out. Dear (name)- I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr....