Related:

• Am I at Wits End, Or just stuck in my chair?
• I moved 2 in. - and am now at my wits' end.
• I refuse a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
• Time For A New Clock When I was still a newlywed, I was invited out for a night with "the boys".
  Being naive about these things at the time, I promised my wife that I would be home by midnight!...
• The Shape I am In... There's nothing the matter with me, I'm just as healthy as can be, I have arthritis in both knees, And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
  My pulse is weak, my blood is thin, But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in....
• BAR TRANSLATIONS "No, really, I'm OK to drive." --I'm wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.
  "I'm not used to these darts." --I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed....
• Excerpts from a Cat's diary DAY 659 -- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal....
• I AM NOT CONCEITED! I JUST HATE MORTALS.
• If it comes to a battle of wits I only come half prepared