Related:

• A guy opened up a new bar, but he couldn't think of a name for it, so one of his friends suggested that he name the bar after the first lady to walk in.
  Good idea," replied the proud owner. Later that day a young lady, wear- ing a small, tight mini-skirt that revealed velvety, tanned legs, walked in and applied for a job as a cocktail waitress....
• The Ideal Wife should be beautiful, but not so beautiful that people think you married her only for her beauty.
  And The Ideal Wife should be wealthy, but not so wealthy that people think you married her only for her money....
• In the bayous of Louisiana, there is a small river called the Dirac.
  Many wealthy people have their mansions near its mouth....
• Three bums - Dusty, Jake and Loner - were walking down some railroad tracks when Jake stops and asked the other two, "Hey, did either of you guys shit in your pants?
  Dusty and Loner both replied, "Not me Jake." "Well, I smell shit, and I think it's coming from one of you guys," said Jake....
• Tillie and Millie, two old girl friends, met for lunch.
  I married a wealthy clothing manufacturer," announced Tillie, "and he bought me a yacht for my birthday....
• On a local radio station the Mental Health Association had this message
  "Does someone in your family suffer from schizoid?...
• A retired dentist who loves to fish. "Open wide," he mutters to the unseen fish as he waits for a tug on the line.
  Now bite down. This may sting just a little bit....