Sentences taken from actual letters received by a welfare department in application for financial support.


I am forwarding a marriage certificate and six children. I have seven, one died, which are baptized on a half sheet of paper.

I am writing the Welfare Department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get the money?

Mrs. Jones has had no clothes for a year, and has been visited regularly by a preacher.

I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell my why?

I am glad to report that my husband who was missing is dead!

This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?

Please find out if my husband is dead. The man I am living with can't eat or do anything until he knows.

I am very annoyed to find out that you branded my son as illiterate. This is a dirty lie, as I was married one week before he was born.

In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and five children, one of which is a mistake as you can see.

My husband got his project cut off two weeks ago, and I haven't had any relief since.

Unless I get my husband's money soon, I will be force to lead and immortal life.

You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?

I have no children yet as my husband is a truck driver and works day and night.

In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

I want some money quickly as I can get it. I have been in bed with the same doctor for two weeks, and he doesn't do any good. If things don't improve I will have to get another doctor to help him.










Seth Croston Barber <kn1ght@cyberis.net>
Last modified: Wed Oct 06 13:29:36 PDT 1999