If Architects Had To Work Like Web DesignersIF ARCHITECTS HAD TO WORK LIKE WEB
DESIGNERS
Dear Ms. Architect:
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you
should use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and
forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be
easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the
final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each
configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am
currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies
that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk
across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as
low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like
aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be
prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used
in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most
up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be
designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.
To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make
certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My
mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be
designed, since she visits us at least once a year.
Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right
decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.
Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the
overall plans for the house: Get the big picture. At this time, for example, it
is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind
that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house
itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications.
Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be completed
within 48 hours.
While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner
or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal
to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the
plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the
features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house
that he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features
that we would also like in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool.
With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house
without impacting the final cost.
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to
do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be
advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of
construction costs as a result of later design changes.
You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be
able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in
your designs is something that can't happen very often.
Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.
PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions
I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to
resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to
accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find
another architect.
PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please
advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.