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• She's so ugly that not even the tide would take her out.
• The honeymooning couple agreed it was a fine day for horseback riding.
  After a mile or so, the bride's mount cantered under a low tree and a branch scraped her forehead lightly....
• The Queen is most anxious to enlist every one who can speak or write to join in checking this mad
  wicked folly of "Woman's Rights", with all its attendant horrors, on which her poor feeble sex is bent, forgetting every sense of womanly feeling and propriety....
• A pretty young maiden from France Decided she'd "just take a chance.
  She let herself go For an hour or so And now all her sisters are aunts....
• An older lady is mugged and having no cash on hand she asks her attacker if he will take a check.
  The mugger agrees, so she calmly asks who she should make the check out to....
• BERENICE'S HAIR, n. A constellation (_Coma Berenices_) named in honor of one who sacrificed her hair to save her husband.
  Her locks an ancient lady gave Her loving husband's life to save...
• Old Ladies Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette.
  It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke....
• Quote #198 Not so, just scared. Think of the poor lady who feared the metric system because she couldn't afford to have her gas tank removed from her car and replaced with one that holds liters instead of gallons.
  -- Kenneth S. Manning...