Related:

• A pretty young maiden from France Decided she'd "just take a chance.
  She let herself go For an hour or so And now all her sisters are aunts....
• Take not a maiden who, when she sees a man of bronze, Loses possession of herself.
  Nothing furthers....
• Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl taking a stroll through the woods.
  All at once she saw an extremely ugly bull frog seated on a log and to her amazement the frog spoke to her....
• Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!
  and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it....
• The woman hurried home from her doctor's appointment, devastated by the medical report she had just received.
  When her husband came in from work, she told him, "Darling, the doctor said I have only twelve more hours to live....
• Lord have mercy, Mrs. Tugwell just had her sixteenth young 'un.
  She said she had so many young 'uns she'd run out of names--to call her husband. -- Minnie Pearl...
• A five-year-old kid raised his hand at school. The teacher declined to let him leave the room.
  Five minutes later she reversed herself. She said, "All right, Sonny, you may go now....
• Let still the woman take An elder than herself: so wears she to him, So sways she level in her husband's hea
  For, boy, however we do praise ourselves, Our fancies are more giddy and unfirm, More longing, wavering, sooner lost and worn, Than women's are....
• Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know.
  I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh....