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• I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'm gonna use it. -- Steven Wrigh
• I've got some powdered water, but I don't know what to add. -- Stephen Wrigh
• 24-hour banking? I haven't got time for that." -- Stephen Wrigh
• I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside.
  The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 50 miles per hour?
  '. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'. -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I invented the cordless extension cord -- Stephen Wrigh
• I got mercury poisoning, it's fatal & it don't get better...
• I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
  -- Stephen Wrigh...
• While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom.
  They put it in _exactly_ the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said...