Related:

• I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. -- Stephen Wrigh
• I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I'm gonna find a tractor that small. -- Steven Wrigh
• I lost a button hole today. -- Steven Wrigh
• Today I...........No, that wasn't me. -- Steven Wrigh
• I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. -- Steven Wrigh
• I got this powdered water -- now I don't know what to add. -- Steven Wrigh
• Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second. -- Steven Wrigh
• My girlfriend and I went on a picnic. I don't know how she did it, but she got poison ivy on the brain.
  When it itched, the only way she could scratch it was to think about sandpaper. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I like to reminisce with people I don't know. -- Steven Wrigh