Related:

• How I drank a case of beer. by I. P. Freely.
• I drank a beer once but I didn't swallow any of it.
• Who drank my beer while I was in the rear? -- Chuck Murphy.
• A Russian official came up to a factory worker and said, "If you drank a shot of vodka, could you still work?
  The worker said, "I think I could." The official said, "If you drank two shots of vodka, could you work?...
• Tony: Sorry we're late. Could we have the money now?
  Marge: The answer -- is no. Tony: I'm afraid I must insist....
• Homer: Well beer, we've had some great times... [singing to "It was a Very Good Year"] When I was 17, I drank some very good beer.
  I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake ID My name was Brian McGee I stayed up listening to Queen When I was 17....
• Lovejoy: So Homer, pleas feel free to tell us anything.
  There's no judgment here. Homer: The other day I was so desperate for a beer I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers....
• Beavis, you wuss, you never drank a beer!
• Did you hear about the snail that was mugged by two tortoises?
  When he went down to report the mugging the police officer asked him if he could describe the event and the snail replied, "I don't know if I could, it happened so fast....