Related:

• Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon.
  But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you'd look out your little window and think, ``Boy, I'm glad I'm not out in THAT....
• I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver.
  And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him and hand it to him....
• If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your ac
  I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, "Forgive me, but that's just too much....
• I think a good scene in a movie would be where one scientist tells another scientist, "You know what will save the world?
  You're holding it in your hand." And the other scientist looks, and in his hand are peanuts....
• It seemed to me that, somehow, the blue jay was trying to communicate with me.
  I would see him fly into the house across the way, pick up the telephone, and dial....
• I think a good movie would be about a guy who's a brain scientist, but he gets hit on the head and it damages the part of the brain that makes you want to study the brain.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco leaves.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...