Related:

• I think a good movie would be about a guy who's a brain scientist, but he gets hit on the head and it damages the part of the brain that makes you want to study the brain.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• Researcher: Why, they're all a bunch of blue-collar slobs!
  Scientist: People, that's who we need for our next astronaut....
• Homer: Hello, is this President Clinton? Good! I figured if anyone knew where to get some Tang, it'd be you.
  ...Shut up! Assistant: Excuse me -- Homer: Aah!...
• If you only know WHY, then you are a scientist.
• A scientist would rather use another scientist's toothbrush than to use his terminology.
• I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver.
  And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him and hand it to him....
• Scientist: Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet the two experienced astronauts who will accompany the winner into space
  Race Banyon and Buzz Aldrin, the second man on the moon!...
• Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins?
  He baptized one and kept the other as a control....
• If there was a terrible storm outside, but somehow this dog lived through the storm, and he showed up at your door when the storm was finally over, I think a good name for him would be Carl.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...